This article explores the common cycle of denial, shame, and eventual acceptance experienced by sexual assault survivors, exemplified by Cornell's Jane Doe and Brown University's Katiana Soenen. Experts confirm these initial reactions are typical trauma responses, highlighting the complex psychological journey survivors face before reporting and seeking justice.
The article details the typical pattern of denial, shame, and eventual acceptance experienced by sexual assault survivors, using the cases of Katiana Soenen from Brown University and Cornell's "Jane Doe" as primary examples. Katiana Soenen recounted her initial struggle to understand and question her own actions after her 2021 assault, only realizing it wasn't consensual after a friend's intervention. She saw parallels with Jane Doe, who, after an alleged gang rape in 2024, also grappled with shame and her stance on whether an assault occurred for weeks. Experts confirm that these reactions are "textbook responses to trauma," characterized by denial, guilt, self-blame, and shame. Denial often serves as a protective mechanism, with survivors experiencing shock, incomplete memories, and self-blame, sometimes delaying reporting or initially avoiding terms like "rape" or "assault." Jane Doe, for instance, initially told roommates she took ketamine and had sex, not using the word "rape," and even reassured one of the men that "non of the sexual stuff was illegal." Soenen also tried to reinterpret her first assault as consensual and later attempted to "convince myself that it hadn’t happened" after a second incident. Shame is another pervasive emotion, as survivors may feel something is "wrong with me" or that reporting would be "a stain on my character," as Soenen described after multiple assaults. Jane Doe feared reputational damage and humiliation from rumors before realizing she was "assaulted." This fear is compounded by a lack of confidence in universities, with only 45% of students believing their school would take reports seriously. Eventually, denial gives way to acceptance. Soenen's trauma manifested in panic attacks and nightmares, leading to the realization that "You can’t just pretend your trauma didn’t happen." She reported her second assault to regain agency. Jane Doe, after days of internal processing, began documenting evidence, recording calls, and eventually stated with "100% confidence I was raped" to campus police, weeks after the incident. This progression from "That did not happen" to "Did I cause it?" and finally "It was not my fault" is common. The article also touches on recovery, with Soenen undergoing intensive therapy, transferring universities, and engaging in sexual violence prevention advocacy, despite her lawsuit against Brown being unsuccessful. The Cornell case has reignited national outrage and conversation, with the National Sexual Assault Hotline reporting an 83% increase in calls after the news broke, underscoring the widespread impact and ongoing challenges survivors face in seeking justice and healing.
