A reader struggles to define her intense feelings for a male colleague, questioning if it's love or a deep friendship. Annalisa Barbieri and an expert explore the nuances of love and the courage to take a leap.
A reader is deeply conflicted about her feelings for a male colleague, with whom she shares a long-standing, close friendship and occasional physical contact. She imagines a future with him, despite not finding him 'perfect,' and wonders if her affection is love or merely a profound friendship. Annalisa Barbieri consults psychoanalytic psychotherapist Susanna Abse, who highlights that the act of questioning itself suggests feelings beyond ordinary friendship. Abse discusses various forms of love, from 'explosive' to 'slow and gentle,' and challenges the reader to consider what 'in love' means to her. Key questions posed include how the reader would act differently if she knew she was in love, and whether her definition of love includes a sexual relationship or fantasies. The article encourages the reader to explore if she's in love with an idea rather than reality and, crucially, to overcome any hesitancy and take the risk of moving the relationship beyond friendship, weighing the potential jeopardy against the desire for clarity and self-discovery.
